Who am I?
I stumble upon the answer to this question. I’m sitting here thinking, “Who am I?” I can remember very vividly who I thought I was growing up. I grew up thinking, “I’m a fat, ugly pig that no one likes.” My so-called friends would sometimes play with me when forced by our mom, but it was always private. Because I was an outcast, I began to associate with other “outliers” among my students. They became my friends and people I could help. People with intellectual and developmental disabilities, and immigrants who speak little English. This started with helping my livelihood. I finally became someone, I was needed. In fact, it was they who helped me.
Growing up, I remained a fat ugly pig who felt unwanted. I thought I was better than them and they needed help. I found out 2 years before him that I was one of them and needed help. This helper became a client who did everything I was instructed to do until I didn’t get fat, so I was hoping it would be a little less ugly. I went on a quest to find a dress. Two of my friends picked out some knee-length, form-fitting dresses for me to try on. I’ve been thinking, “I’ll return the dress tomorrow, so don’t remove the tags.” Furthermore, I thought, “A fat woman like me doesn’t deserve to wear a dress like this.”
When I got home and put the dress on for my husband the next day, he immediately raised an eyebrow and said, “You are beautiful.” She couldn’t believe her ears. He has never spontaneously commented on my clothes before. can i be beautiful ” I was standing in front of the mirror when he left the room. I looked at myself and thought, for the first time in my life, I really am God’s creation. I took this thought to God for several weeks in my morning meditations and two-way prayer times, asking God if it was really true. I slowly discovered that there are beautiful women who yearn to belong somewhere. .I am a beautiful woman of God. I have always been God’s beautiful woman covered in worthless lies. My so-called “outcast” friends knew my worth long before I discovered it myself. They treated me like I belonged and were truly loved and cared for.
So who am I? I am a beautiful creature of God.I am a woman who deserves to feel pretty and beautiful in a dress, regardless of shape or size. is recovery, friendship, and
Love. I am no longer a single ‘outcast’ in this world and am among many recovering friends who are not ‘outcasts’. We are all beautiful creatures of God who belong to this world. We are wanted not only by each other, but by our loving Creator. We truly are God’s beautiful creations, living lives beyond our wildest dreams.
Lisa K.
