Mandy Manners has many accomplishments. She is a writer, speaker and mental health An activist and a sober life coach.Raises awareness and addresses trauma, mental illness, and substance use disorders (SUD) led her to co-found Love Sober, an online sobriety coaching platform. Kate Bailey.
Her last “day one” of sobriety was over 2,000 days ago. But it wasn’t rock bottom that caused Manners to stop drinking, it was an accident that almost ended in tragedy.
“I have been working on this [sobriety] Today it’s 2,000 days or 5 and a half years, but I’ve been traveling for nearly 10 years now. So there were a lot of moments where I questioned my drinking and my mental health… but my final “day one” was on vacation in Spain.
While on vacation, manners usually indulged in periods of social drinking (drinking with friends, drinking at parties, etc.).
One evening in Spain, while the kids were swimming, Manners and her husband decided to break the pre-established rules and drink wine while relaxing by the pool. As the two sat and enjoyed their glasses, my 8-year-old son jumped into the pool and cut his eyebrow on the cover. The scene was gory, with blood from the gouache mingling with the pool water and a small cut looking like a serious head wound.
When Manor’s husband jumped into the pool to save his son, a relief came over her that they were sober. Their son only needed a few stitches, but the incident left Manners plagued with “what ifs.” She couldn’t bear the thought of having a glass of wine when she was in a pinch, and she wanted a change.
“How many more risks are we going to take?” Manners wondered.
Throughout her life, she changed and changed her evolving drinking rules many times, but this is the last time. The incident was a turning point for Manners, who decided to quit drinking.
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Addressing root causes through treatment and support
When Mandy Manners decided to ask treatmentAdapting to her recent move to France with her husband, and attending a top French private business school under pressure While juggling a demanding job and raising young children, Manners struggled to keep all parts of her life together. It wasn’t “still under consideration”. The stress and burnout resulting from balancing multiple responsibilities left her emotionally drained and eventually experienced a breakdown.
Manners decides to visit her doctor. cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) therapist and addiction counselor. Manners sees her doctor for her twice a week. anxiety, depression, burnout, and other concerns. Her French was “not very good” at the time of her sessions, so many of her sessions were filled with writing and writing. bring out her feelingsHer doctor finally prescribed her antidepressantsand feeling emotionally conditioned, she realized she needed to deal with her drinking habits.
“It was only when I started to feel a little better that I realized that alcohol didn’t help. [drinking], I couldn’t stop.That’s when I started using mainly support group “That’s when I found Soberista,” said Manners.
Soberistas were secret sober forums where Manners could share her experiences with other women in a welcoming environment. Manners had no idea where she sat on the “drinking spectrum.” What image did she havealcoholism It seemed like, but she didn’t feel like she was in the mold. Through her group of online support, Manners has found a strong sense of community with other “grey her area her drinkers” and no longer feels alone in life and her daily struggle with alcohol. rice field.Manners felt ‘lucky’ she wasn’t at the point she needed to be inpatient treatmenthowever, she was still suffering from unresolved adolescent trauma.
Demystifying the relationship between trauma and addiction
Mandy Manners learned from drinking that she was recovering from trauma, not just alcohol. coping mechanisms She picked it up to ease the pain she experienced throughout her life. Manners experienced sexual trauma when she was just 18 years old. It took her many years before she was able to access the resources, support, and tools she needed to start coping with her trauma and healing.
“Diagnosed with a complex PTSD “So there were a lot of times before that when I was struggling with symptoms of trauma that I had nothing to do with, label, or understand,” Manners said.
Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (sometimes abbreviated as c-PTSD or CPTSD) often develops when adolescents experience recurrent trauma. There is a long link between childhood traumatic experiences and addictive behavior in adulthood. As for her manners, she managed her own symptoms alone for over 20 years until she was diagnosed with her c-PTSD. Her decision to share her experiences with alcohol and trauma not only allows Manners to help others, but it also allows her to heal.
“There is power in sharing our stories, so why not make the hardest things in my life empowering for me?”
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Breaking the Drinking Status Quo for the Next Generation
Growing up in England in the ’90s, Mandy Manners couldn’t remember anyone who didn’t drink. The drinking culture is so entrenched in Britain that when Manners and her friends started drinking around the age of 14, they considered it a “normal” activity. In the UK, the legal drinking age is 18 for her, but 16 and her 17 are allowed to drink beer, wine and cider under adult supervision during meals. However, you cannot purchase alcohol for yourself.
As a mother of two young children, Manners felt tremendous pressure to show her children what responsible drinking looked like. She thought she had to maintain some degree of alcohol in her life.
“For a long time I thought I had to abstain from alcohol to set a good example for them. Now they have a non-drinking parent and a drinking parent. They are having a conversation about addiction. They are having a conversation about mental health.”
Manners’ decision to stop drinking not only improved her mental health but also allowed her to set realistic standards for her children. and have the language to discuss mental health and can have open conversations with children.
“I’m really happy. It’s one of the unexpected things that I didn’t realize children actually have language now. It feels really powerful,” Manners said.
pave the way for others
As a certified professional life and recovery coach, Manners takes great pride in connecting and leading women on their journey to sobriety. Sometimes, Manners finds the whole process therapeutic and helps strengthen her resolve to continue drinking.
“We are not alone in our journey. If sharing my story helps just one person, I think it’s worth it.