[Ed. Note: big thanks to SMART Volunteer Anne Devenport for writing this guest blog]
The DISARM tool is used in SMART Recovery to deal with urges. Participants in recovery meetings are assisted using the DISARM tool (Disruptive Imagery and Self-Talk Recognition) to imagine an offensive salesman trying to drive them into addictive behavior. . They deal with imaginary salespeople and deal with their urges.
One participant asked during a family and friends meeting if the DISARM tool could be relevant to family and friends. We start by identifying what the salesperson may be tempting us with as family and friends.
You may experience strong urges such as:
Nag our darling
protect our loved ones
clean up the mess of our loved ones
Call your loved one’s boss and explain why you’re late
Hiding a loved one’s behavior from others
Give our loved ones money for their addictive behavior
solve a loved one’s problems
……and many more
The DISARM tool might call the salesperson a name (The Creep, The Sleazeball), suggesting that it might tell the salesperson to get lost. In this way, we personify the urge to fix/protect/nagging. This may help us recognize that the urge is not part of us, and that we have the power to reject it, the salesperson.
Here are some questions we might ask ourselves when a salesperson pops up in our lives. . They want to fix a loved one’s fender bender. Or you want to energetically edit your son’s college-age homework so he doesn’t get bad grades. Her DISARM question for family and friends looks like this:
- Do I have to solve my loved one’s problems just because I so desperately want them?
Our answer will be:
“No, it’s easy to give in, but you don’t have to. I resisted
Despite the salesperson’s request, I fixed it in the past, so I
Please know that I can do it. “
- Is it terrible to stop yourself from solving your loved one’s problems?
Now say to yourself:
“No, it won’t be terrible. It may be uncomfortable to see my loved ones.”
Some people try to solve their own problems, which is not terrible.if i
Don’t give in to the clerk this time.easier to resist
future. in the long run,
Fixing everything might help my dear – it sends
message that I’m sure they can
solve their own problems. “
- Am I somehow entitled to an easy life when dating someone I love?
You can answer this as follows.
“No, I have no right to an easy life with someone I love.”
Salespeople keep tempting me.
A fact of life, and I can deal with it.Like everyone else I meet
Hardships in life, and I know I can get through these. “
Additionally, whenever a salesperson raises an unwelcome head and tempts us to dive in to solve a loved one’s problem, we can turn to Section 10 of the Family and Friends Handbook. There are the following questions:
Will changing my behavior really hurt my loved ones? Yes, they may get mad, but what does that compare to the long-term harm of the addiction I’m trying to avoid?
Which hurts me more: changing my behavior or knowing I didn’t do anything to change my behavior?
what can you expect to happen don’t change? Will things turn around?
So, even though it may sound like a salesman, consider buying DISARM. This is another great SMART tool you can add to your Family and Friends toolbox.
SMART Recovery Toolbox
Disarm the Addiction Salesman (Article)
Description of Disarm