Why not show more kindness to your struggling child?
Are you worried that your kindness will lead to action?
Live so that when your children think about fairness, compassion, and honesty, they will remember you. ~ H. Jackson Brown Jr.
I remember when I was teaching 4th grade.
I conducted an activity to promote kindness in my students.
Each student handed out a piece of paper with their name on it, and all classmates wrote kind words about each other. The best part of this exercise was when the students received their papers. Their faces light up when they read the list.
Math, English and history classes are essential, but so is helping children feel good about themselves.
Do you think of kindness in the face of adversity?
Kindness helps families heal when drug use becomes a problem.
As a child grows, so can their problems.
Substance use, addiction, and even relapse can trigger a range of unpleasant behaviors. A variety of dangerous behaviors can be found, including stealing, lying, yelling, slamming doors, and disappearing for several days.. This turmoil causes stress and anxiety for families, especially parents.
It can be difficult at times, but maintaining a calm and kind demeanor can reduce the problem to a human level. You can’t train how to get out of drug use. It takes even more time. Instead, peel back the layers and discover what’s going on with your child.
You may feel scared to find out what is behind your drug use. Sometimes I feel guilty about things I wish I had done differently. I know because I felt the same way. But if we try to understand the core of the problem, healing can begin.
Here are five ways kindness can help heal when drug use knocks on your door.
1. Don’t take your child’s drug use personally.
When someone is cruel, harsh, and spiteful, it’s one thing to not take their words personally, and one to hear the silent cry in those words. ~ Vironika Tugareva
Family dynamics influence drug use. But it’s not your fault that your child has become dependent. If you could help them, you would. Your child has a complicated problem. They couldn’t help themselves when needed.
Delve into the reasons your child uses substances. It’s a way to get to the heart of the matter. I understand your anger and hurt feelings, but remember that your child uses drugs and alcohol to escape the pain. They are not using substances to make you feel bad.
Your pain is an unpleasant side effect of drug or alcohol use.
Breaking the Cycles’ Lisa Frederiksen calls it second hand drink (or drug administration). Like passive smoking, the effects of drug use on children are unhealthy habits. It’s not fun, but don’t take your child’s negative behavior personally.
2. Treat children with respect.
Calmness is a superpower. ~Angel Chernoff
There will be times when you feel that your child does not deserve your respect. If you continue to treat your children with respect and kindness, you will model the behavior you want to see.
Being kind isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. Nonetheless, reacting to situations that feel out of control with anger and emotional drama continues a negative cycle.
According to Dr. Laura Markham, “If you’re yelling, stop. It’s true. Children will disrespect the yelling parent, and so will your influence. They cry too, learning to be the way out.”
That goes for those of us young adults who struggle with substances, and may still be teenagers emotionally.
You may now feel that your child does not understand your more thoughtful approach. They will never forget how you treated them in the future during their drug use. Treating your child with respect will remind you that you care about them as human beings and loving family members no matter what..
3. Look for what lies beneath your child’s negative behavior.
There is nothing more beautiful than a person being who they are. Imagine going through the day unapologetic. ~ Stephen Maravori
The child you brought into this world is there. I hope that in time they will return to their old selves. You may even be able to see a better version of your child that you didn’t know existed. Don’t lose hope. Drug use and addiction can be long-lasting in some cases. Still, your child’s life can be better.
Get out old albums and photos from when your kids were growing up. Before drugs invade your life, remember who they are at their core. It serves as a reminder that your precious little one is still there and hopes you’ll be back soon.
With willpower and determination, your child will be able to return to himself. When treating your child Kindness, Your child is more likely to be positive about thinking about recovery.
4. Pay attention to your child’s correct behavior.
If you see something beautiful in someone, tell them. It may take a while to say it, but it could be a lifetime for them. ~ Unknown
Sometimes it can be hard to figure out what’s right because you’re blinded by your child’s unusual behavior. Take a breath and notice your child. Make a list so you don’t forget. Read the list daily.
It’s a reminder that things aren’t always black and white, grays often exist. There will be days when your child wants to stop using drugs.Then there will be another day when they will be there is drawn I’m going back to drugs and alcohol. Focus on the positive things. Let your child know what they are doing well. It will build their self-esteem. Reinforcement helps everyone focus on positive behavior.
5. Keep love alive.
By practicing self-awareness and pausing before reacting, we can create a world of less pain and more love. ~ Lori Deshen
Being kind and loving can help create an atmosphere that supports your child’s recovery. Remember how much you love your child. I know you don’t like their current drug use, but love your children. Know that change is possible.
your child is suffering they are suffering They need you to be there for them. You can make a difference by understanding and educating yourself.the same as My ex-students, your children will start to shine when they know you recognize your good points..
Treat your child with kindness and love. You can have hope for a better tomorrow.
Access research-based resources Support your child in a kind and caring way that can lead to change. My book, The Compassion Antidote: A Path to Change for You and Your Child Struggling with Drug Use, answers many of the questions you may have about your child’s drug use. Learn more about.